


Thick as Thieves

by redridingemissary



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Thieves, Derek and Stiles as thieves, Derek is fed up with Stiles' shit, Drabble, Gen, Human AU, No Werewolves, Thief Derek Hale, Thief Stiles Stilinski, but what's new?, stiles is an asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-13 02:18:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5690866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redridingemissary/pseuds/redridingemissary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the prompt: Your OTP as thieves. Person A watching, and complimenting how sexy B looks lithely weaving their way through the intricate network of deadly alarm lasers surrounding their target. A also make sure that B skillfully, gingerly, makes it all the way to the end end before A shuts the lasers off and just walks through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thick as Thieves

**Author's Note:**

> In honor of 550 followers on Tumblr I decided to post this!

The sweat is already dripping down Derek’s neck when they arrive at the vault. 

Up until this point he has had to: free climb his way up a 40 foot wall, crawl through air ducts, repel down an elevator shaft, and slack line his way over the main floor of the museum all with a 150 pound man child strapped to his back. He is tired. When he first agreed to the job, he thought he was going to be the B and E part of this job. Break in, and make it possible for Danny to Enter. It baffles him that he has had to do everything he has had to do thus far. Which is ALL the work. 

And on top of everything, this entire trip has been narrated and given a soundtrack by none other than Stiles “Loudmouth” Stilinksi. “Duh na na na na na na duh na na na na na na. Duh na naaaaaaaaaa. Duh na naaaaaaaaa. Du-” 

“Would you shut up and act like a professional for 5 seconds? Jesus Christ.” 

“Breaking into a museum and using the Lord’s name in vain, Derek. What would your mother say?!” 

Needless to say, the next time Danny gets sick before a job, Derek is going to demand to be reassigned. He is not getting a big enough cut for this bullshit. 

“So all you have to do big guy is get through these lasers, attach this pully system to that wall, and hoist me up and over! Simple.” 

Simple, he says. All you have to do, he says. Not a big enough cut. 

“Why am doing all the work again?” The green glow from the laser maze reflects off of Stiles’ teeth as he smirks. “Would you like to be the one to disable the security system and blow the vault open 007?” 

“Don’t call me that.” His smirk widens. 

Derek wonders if Stiles could still get them into the vault with a black eye and a broken nose. His fists clench tighter. Better to wait until they’re outside again. 

“Fine, get to it big guy we dont have all night.” Derek grumbles but gets into position. Shaking his limbs loose, he map out the least difficult route. Suddenly taking up yoga two months ago was a fantastic idea, he can already tell this is going to hurt in the morning. He decides on starting with a backflip. When he lands, the whistle from his accomplice serves to distract him. “Sexy, Der. Color me impressed.” 

Not. A. Big. Enough. Cut. 

The next ten minutes goes something like this: Derek twists, flips, shimmies, ducks, and slides his way through the lasers while Stiles adds unhelpful and unoriginal compliments. By the end, Derek decides he is going to take an extra 10 percent from this job. 

“Maybe you can show me that last move again in your bedroom later, 007.” Maybe 20 percent. He’s earned it. One last backflip and he’s done. “Took you long enough Der. I’m as old as Finstock over here.” 

His face flushes in anger. This little shit thinks everything is so easy. “Like you could do better hotshot? All you’ve done all night is stand there or get carried.” 

“AND look pretty Der. Don’t discount that vital part of the mission.” “I’ll bet you 5 percent of this pay off that you can’t get over here in less than ten minutes without my help.” The resounding laughter echoes through the museum halls. 

“Deal.” 

It takes Derek about 30 seconds to regret his decision. The thirty seconds it takes Stiles to pull out his gun, shoot the panel on the wall, short the lasers out, and walk 40 feet to the vault door. 

“I disabled the alarms before we got in the building. The lasers are wired on a closed circuit, they only set off the alarms if the alarms are on. I just wanted to watch you backflip, Der.” Derek gazes dumbfounded as Stiles sets the explosives and blows the vault door open. 25 seconds and he’s in. “By the way Der, I’ll take my 5 percent in cash.” Not a big enough cut.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr [redridingemissary](http://redridingemissary.tumblr.com)


End file.
